Why I was so Scared to Change my Life

fear-afraid-of-change

Why I was SO scared to make a

CHANGE in my LIFE

We've all been there, right?  We want to do something, we want to try something, we want to CHANGE something in our lives, but SOMETHING keeps holding us back.

Something that grabs hold like a VICE GRIP and will NOT. LET. GO.

That was me four years ago…

Last week, I shared my story about changing careers to start GET LIVEY and how I was paralyzed by fear.

I heard from so many of you.  So many of you who find yourself in a variety of situations with one common overarching theme.  You are afraid to change.  Afraid to take that next step forward.

You reached out to me and asked: WHY AM I SO AFRAID?

So, I thought about, I journaled about it, and dug deep into my own fears so that I could come back this week and share more with you on this topic.

First, I reflected on the reasons that were holding me back.  What did I fear the most about leaving my job and starting my business?

  1. MONEY – Yup, that's right, my number one fear was about money.  And let's go even deeper here… sure I was afraid about how we would pay our bills, but I knew that I would be able to make at least enough to make that happen.  My real fear was letting go of our lifestyle.
  2. STATURE – I had been in my role for 12 years and had lots of responsibility, lots of trust, clout, and from an ego standpoint, title.  How could I walk away from all that?
  3. CONFIDENCE – I knew my job inside out and there wasn't much that could rattle me.  Sure, there were plenty of challenges, but I knew the business, I knew the players, I knew the politics.  I was seasoned in this work.  And now I was going to START OVER in a business that I frankly knew nothing about and had no contacts?

After taking this time to break down what really scared the crap out of me, I realized something…

Now, sure, I have the benefit of playing Monday Morning Quarterback here because I am sharing this well on the other side of making this change, but still, here it is:

I was solely focus on what I was going to LOSE.

I obsessed about the money piece, the stature piece, and the confidence piece.  All I thought about was what I perceived that I would lose!  No wonder I was too scared to make a move!

Fortunately, I was led to take the first step, and then another, and then another until Get Lively was born (again, check out last week's post for the full story)… but now it is time for me to ask all of YOU who share that you are afraid:

What do you have to GAIN?

I didn't know this at the time, but I had SO much more to gain than I did to lose…

  1. MONEY – First off, it all just worked out and I stopped spending money frivolously.  But more so, my currency shifted from actual dollars to seeing people believe in themselves for the first time and to doing things they physically didn't think they could do.
  2. STATURE – If I thought having an assistant VP title was fun, little did I know what fun it would be to become a coach that guides people to make positive changes to their health and lives.  Their expressions of gratitude and joy far exceed any title on a business card.
  3. CONFIDENCE – I love to learn, and starting over gave me the gift of being a student again, so that I could gain confidence in a whole new part of my life.

So, what do you have to GAIN?

Take the time to write down what you fear.  Ask yourself: am I focusing on just what I have to lose?

If so, fear will continue to dominate your situation, but now you've got some new tools to test out.  You can look fear in the eye, call it out, shift your perspective from what you have to LOSE to what you have to GAIN, and then let's talk…

If you want to hear more on this topic, I'm digging in a little deeper on my podcast:

Episode 9: Why I was so Scared to Change – hope you'll tune in!

And please do comment below with how you are going to shift your focus from what you have to lose to all you have to GAIN.